Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
