I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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