his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
