I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize