You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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