You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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