yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I want to ride his face like a jet ski