if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
