Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
