my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
