I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
