My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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