Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
