I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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