Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize