i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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