Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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