This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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