I CAN MOONWALK!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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