I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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