If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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