just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
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I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
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I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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