So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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