I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
