The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
