Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
