Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
