I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
