Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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