D3 body, D1 cock
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
