Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
