I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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