this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
