I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
