I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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