I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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