I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize