I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Girls should come with a carfax report
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
