What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
