Buhtt sex?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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