Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
