After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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