Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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