I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
FUCK WHALES
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