How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
