When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.