I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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