Apparently you make a good broom.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
