SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so let's talk penis.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I think people are normalizing furries
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize