The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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