Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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