I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
