she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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