Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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