but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just had sex on a roof
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
