Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
