look no pants
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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