barbara walters just said penis...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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